I cannot forgive you Mom

I cannot forgive you mom

I was 7 years old since when you have always been mean to me, Mom. I vividly remember that day when I played so hard in the hot sun. With stomach rumbling and love filled in my heart; I came running home to hug you, thinking you will serve me food. Instead, you snapped at me to serve it myself and I was so hurt Mom. I remember throwing a tantrum but you stood your ground. Before I knew, I had grown so big that I didn’t need you to serve me food anymore. That was the last you ever served me food as you were just so mean, Mom.

You knew very well I liked to snuggle up to you while sleeping. But, you chose to wake up early morning at 3 am leaving me warm with just a blanket. You used to walk a few kilometers to fetch water for us, all this while keeping a night lamp ON. That dim light used to bother me Mom. I used to yell and throw things at you to stop the hustle bustle at those wee hours. All you did was pat me back to sleep and I cannot forgive you Mom, for disturbing my cozy sleep.

I never used to like the food you prepared. My friend’s mom used to cook so many varieties of food and, here, I was bored of eating the same food every single day. I think you were just lazy to prepare good food Mom. And, I am sure even you didn’t like the stuffs you made, because, I have seen that you slept without eating many a times. You left that food for dad to finish, after he comes home late at night. You were so selfish and, therefore, I cannot forgive you Mom.

You always used to take care of my sisters and brother better, Mom. You didn’t mind walking few kilometers to see them off to school in the morning, cook food for them once you were back and, walk again all the way to feed them lunch. I am sure you would secretly hug and kiss them too, Mom. I used to really enjoy the time when you were out and left me at my friend’s home. Her Mom would tell me that my legs would hurt if you took me along, but I knew better Mom. You never loved me enough to take me along. After all, you didn’t give me time even after coming back. You found joy in washing clothes and doing other mundane stuff all day. I cannot forgive you for being a big bore, Mom!

I have even told you a couple of times that I don’t like you. I expected you to realize that I needed your love and how lonely I feel. You never understood or consoled me; instead, you started crying yourself, Mom!

Today, I am a Mom and I still know better. I will strive to be the mother that you could never be, Mom. I will give my kids the best that I can. I will work hard all day long so they can get a life so comfortable. I will give them the healthiest food to eat just so they can grow really well. I know they don’t like the food I prepare, but, I just know better than them Mom.

I know we are busy earning a livelihood and, usually get to spend very little time with kids. How can I? I have to take care of the house, kids and even work along. I have a maid to help and even arranged for school transport so I wouldn’t have to drop them off. It gets very tiring, Mom. And you know very well that it’s a bit difficult in our times, to give as much time as kids would please.

I know I just have two kids while you had five. I try to balance work and home but, I still don’t find some time off for myself, Mom. The other day, I had a very bad day at work and all I wanted to do is just sit in peace for a while. My 7 year daughter just wouldn’t understand and she wanted only me to serve her lunch, Mom. I snapped at her so hard that she cried for long. I just couldn’t care as I was feeling so down.

With another toddler around, I remain so busy around him that I forgot all about the incident in the days to come. She is being cold to me since, as I love her brother more, that’s what she thinks. It’s been a while that I found time to serve her food, but Mom, I think she is doing just good.

I am doing the best I can and I love my kids a lot. But, the other day she came up to me and said she hates me, Mom. I felt so hurt that before I knew, my eyes were wet as she just snapped at me and with her friends, she left.

I wonder till date, what I ever did. She just muttered so easily that I cannot forgive you, Mom!

 Disclaimer: This is NOT the story of MY LIFE. This is a story weaved from various incidents and situations that I have heard, seen or read. Every mother has her own battles which children don’t understand and perceive in a different way. All the way, children complain and hurt their parents unknowingly. As teenagers, some even blame their parents. But, only when they themselves become a parent they understand what it is to be one and that every parent does the best they can for their kids. Life comes a full circle. By then, its too late to seek forgiveness and, at other luckier times, parents still listen to their kids (like how the protagonist is telling her pain to her own mom who she found to be mean) and stand by them in their tough times – irrespective of the past.

Image Credit:

Cover Photo – anitapeppers from Morguefile

Inside Photo – kamuelaboy from Morguefile

 

First published in mycity4kids.com with about 230,000 views

Also, published in Huffington Post

 

 

Advertisements

The 5 most irritating things that I love my husband for

the 5 most irritating things that i love my husband for

After a decade of living together, the all-rosy, lovey-dovey imagination of a life partner is taken over by the stark realities of life and even the smallest (irritating) behavior of the spouse stares blankly into your eyes.

Those times when you are exhausted and you get to hear “Oh, but you didn’t do anything all day!” With a straight face (and with all the will power I have) I just think, “jyothi, easy.. easy.. deep breath… not now… no.. don’t punch him.. let this moment pass..” And those times when you expect a gift on your birthday and you get to hear your hubby speak with a baby face, “But, I just bought you a phone two months ago. That was for your birthday”. Really? That too, when your birthday and anniversary are on the same day!!! You got to appreciate me for not turning violent and breaking things around (or his bones, for that matter).

Over a period of time, I have noticed that there are a few highly irritating behaviors (to me, of course!) of my hubby that gets to me ALL the time. But, when I think about it, they are the same things which also make me be very glad that I have him for a husband and make me fall for him all over again. And, again!

woman-975339_640

Here goes my list of the 5 most irritating things that I love my husband for:

1. Downright Insensitive

If I am down with a headache or fever he is the last person to ask if I am feeling good or if I want that God damn paracetamol to get the fever down. He will instead come and tell me “Why can’t you just take the meds and get going? You are acting as though you are suffering from an epidemic”. Hello! At least ask me how I am feeling dude! I am not dying, but sure I am ill!

It’s been 3 years that I slept for more than 5 hrs a day – thanks to my toddler – he will wonder why I am sleepy 24×7 or why every part of my body aches! And talk about mood swings, PMS – that’s an “out-of-syllabus” topic for him.

That being said,

a. He is the person who will make sure that I have all the medicines handy, if I ever need them.
b. He not only maintains the stock at home, but also makes sure I have it within my reach very close to the bed.
c. He may not understand mood swings, but because I am not feeling quiet right he will not burden me with any extra work. Of course, kids are not his cup of tea. But he will get other mundane housework done for me.

2. ALWAYS snaps at me if I want to buy something

Never likes me spending money on clothes and stuffs. I have a fetish for ear rings and finger rings and he simply doesn’t get the concept that we need to wear ear rings that matches our outfit. Or, for that matter if an ear ring is irresistibly awesome, we may have to buy an outfit to go along with it! According to him, I don’t spend money on anything useful. Obviously, ear rings and clothes are neither vegetables nor groceries!

However,

a. He always checks my wallet and keeps some cash in there so that I have enough money when I go out.
b. He always keeps our joint account loaded with enough cash if ever I go out to shop anything (which I don’t do very often. He never acknowledges this and please add this to the irritating factors).
c. If he finds any outfit which is really good, he will influence me to buy it

deepakjyothi blog

We both had to stay in different countries recently and I, under the pretext of “I-am-feeling-lonely-let-me-do-something-to-pamper-myself”, went on a shopping spree. He called me one day to inform that our joint account is wiped clean and before I could go all out shopping, I should make sure it’s my personal account that I am using. He didn’t have enough time to transfer money that day. What next? After a moment of intense guilt (at least he could have told that he was really mad at me), I continued shopping under the pretext of “see-this-is-why-i-miss-my-hubby-so-much”.

3. Hates malls and food outings

He needs a lot of motivation to visit a nearby mall or go on a food outing. Paani puris are my all time favorite. If we are out together and I suggest we eat pani puris (at the least), he would say that the guy who prepares them uses a cloth which is washed rarely and that the guy is itchy all over and uses his hands generously to relieve himself all over – emphasizing that he was cleaning his nostrils too! I mean, by the time I hear all this, my appetite is shut away in a dark dungeon!

According to him, malls are for jobless, aimless people who don’t know what to do with their time and money! Not that I enjoy idling around in a mall, so I forgive him here.

However,

a. He plans outings to the most serene, different, peaceful and strikingly awesome places.
b. Never appreciates restaurant foods but eats even the most terribly gone wrong experimental foods prepared by me – without a single sigh! Having been to a boarding school since a very small age, he really enjoys simple, homemade food.

food jdm2

4. The “mommy” factor (you knew this was coming, I’m sure)

As a rule, Her Highness my Mother-in-law is right – even when she is wrong! And I am at fault – even if it’s not my fault. A lot of you will know and feel the extent of irritation factor here and, therefore, I will not get into details.

But,

a. This same emotion that he has for his mom makes him such an awesome person who can respect and accept the other person with all their faults.
b. He is a very rational person but, I am dumbfounded at times, knowing the extent to which he can go to care for the other person.
c. He can be snapping at you all the time, but he will be the one who will think beyond “now”, understand what problems they may face and sort it out even before they could realize it will be a problem.

And, these same emotions make him respect me as a person and give me enough freedom to be what I want to be – whether he likes it, or not!

5. Never sits peacefully – No work equals greatest sin

He is always doing something or the other. But, that’s not the problem. He expects me to do too! He doesn’t seem to rest – ever.

If he isn’t doing anything he will sulk, be a big bore and doze off – ON A WEEKEND!!!. Come on, on a weekend at least I want to have some peaceful time without work. But, that is the day he will choose

a. To stock up on veggies (which means I will have to plan for the week, sort the veggies, clean and fill it up in the fridge – I hate this work),
b. Fix the TV remote (because I will not be able to watch TV),
c. Fix the leaky taps (which I wouldn’t even have realized are leaking),
d. Get a fevikwik (because the bow on my daughter’s “favorite” shoe is falling off)
e. Or, check on the inverter if it needs a fix (so that there are no dark nights at home)

electrician-1080561_640

The list is endless as he seems to have the talent to find more and more work.

But, because he does all this, my following week goes without any issues and I have everything in place to run the house. Not to mention, my daughter still flaunts her favorite shoe 🙂

After almost a decade of being close to each other, we have had our ups and downs and we have seen past through it – growing with every misunderstanding, ignoring things that don’t matter to our growth and accepting things that cannot be changed.

Have we found the magic recipe of a happy marriage? Nah! That’s a long bet. We had a bitter argument just now! Each day is a new day and only time will tell how far we walk together surviving each other’s irritating behavior 🙂

First published at: mycity4kids.com