After a decade of living together, the all-rosy, lovey-dovey imagination of a life partner is taken over by the stark realities of life and even the smallest (irritating) behavior of the spouse stares blankly into your eyes.
Those times when you are exhausted and you get to hear “Oh, but you didn’t do anything all day!” With a straight face (and with all the will power I have) I just think, “jyothi, easy.. easy.. deep breath… not now… no.. don’t punch him.. let this moment pass..” And those times when you expect a gift on your birthday and you get to hear your hubby speak with a baby face, “But, I just bought you a phone two months ago. That was for your birthday”. Really? That too, when your birthday and anniversary are on the same day!!! You got to appreciate me for not turning violent and breaking things around (or his bones, for that matter).
Over a period of time, I have noticed that there are a few highly irritating behaviors (to me, of course!) of my hubby that gets to me ALL the time. But, when I think about it, they are the same things which also make me be very glad that I have him for a husband and make me fall for him all over again. And, again!
Here goes my list of the 5 most irritating things that I love my husband for:
1. Downright Insensitive
If I am down with a headache or fever he is the last person to ask if I am feeling good or if I want that God damn paracetamol to get the fever down. He will instead come and tell me “Why can’t you just take the meds and get going? You are acting as though you are suffering from an epidemic”. Hello! At least ask me how I am feeling dude! I am not dying, but sure I am ill!
It’s been 3 years that I slept for more than 5 hrs a day – thanks to my toddler – he will wonder why I am sleepy 24×7 or why every part of my body aches! And talk about mood swings, PMS – that’s an “out-of-syllabus” topic for him.
That being said,
a. He is the person who will make sure that I have all the medicines handy, if I ever need them.
b. He not only maintains the stock at home, but also makes sure I have it within my reach very close to the bed.
c. He may not understand mood swings, but because I am not feeling quiet right he will not burden me with any extra work. Of course, kids are not his cup of tea. But he will get other mundane housework done for me.
2. ALWAYS snaps at me if I want to buy something
Never likes me spending money on clothes and stuffs. I have a fetish for ear rings and finger rings and he simply doesn’t get the concept that we need to wear ear rings that matches our outfit. Or, for that matter if an ear ring is irresistibly awesome, we may have to buy an outfit to go along with it! According to him, I don’t spend money on anything useful. Obviously, ear rings and clothes are neither vegetables nor groceries!
a. He always checks my wallet and keeps some cash in there so that I have enough money when I go out.
b. He always keeps our joint account loaded with enough cash if ever I go out to shop anything (which I don’t do very often. He never acknowledges this and please add this to the irritating factors).
c. If he finds any outfit which is really good, he will influence me to buy it
We both had to stay in different countries recently and I, under the pretext of “I-am-feeling-lonely-let-me-do-something-to-pamper-myself”, went on a shopping spree. He called me one day to inform that our joint account is wiped clean and before I could go all out shopping, I should make sure it’s my personal account that I am using. He didn’t have enough time to transfer money that day. What next? After a moment of intense guilt (at least he could have told that he was really mad at me), I continued shopping under the pretext of “see-this-is-why-i-miss-my-hubby-so-much”.
3. Hates malls and food outings
He needs a lot of motivation to visit a nearby mall or go on a food outing. Paani puris are my all time favorite. If we are out together and I suggest we eat pani puris (at the least), he would say that the guy who prepares them uses a cloth which is washed rarely and that the guy is itchy all over and uses his hands generously to relieve himself all over – emphasizing that he was cleaning his nostrils too! I mean, by the time I hear all this, my appetite is shut away in a dark dungeon!
According to him, malls are for jobless, aimless people who don’t know what to do with their time and money! Not that I enjoy idling around in a mall, so I forgive him here.
a. He plans outings to the most serene, different, peaceful and strikingly awesome places.
b. Never appreciates restaurant foods but eats even the most terribly gone wrong experimental foods prepared by me – without a single sigh! Having been to a boarding school since a very small age, he really enjoys simple, homemade food.
4. The “mommy” factor (you knew this was coming, I’m sure)
As a rule, Her Highness my Mother-in-law is right – even when she is wrong! And I am at fault – even if it’s not my fault. A lot of you will know and feel the extent of irritation factor here and, therefore, I will not get into details.
a. This same emotion that he has for his mom makes him such an awesome person who can respect and accept the other person with all their faults.
b. He is a very rational person but, I am dumbfounded at times, knowing the extent to which he can go to care for the other person.
c. He can be snapping at you all the time, but he will be the one who will think beyond “now”, understand what problems they may face and sort it out even before they could realize it will be a problem.
And, these same emotions make him respect me as a person and give me enough freedom to be what I want to be – whether he likes it, or not!
5. Never sits peacefully – No work equals greatest sin
He is always doing something or the other. But, that’s not the problem. He expects me to do too! He doesn’t seem to rest – ever.
If he isn’t doing anything he will sulk, be a big bore and doze off – ON A WEEKEND!!!. Come on, on a weekend at least I want to have some peaceful time without work. But, that is the day he will choose
a. To stock up on veggies (which means I will have to plan for the week, sort the veggies, clean and fill it up in the fridge – I hate this work),
b. Fix the TV remote (because I will not be able to watch TV),
c. Fix the leaky taps (which I wouldn’t even have realized are leaking),
d. Get a fevikwik (because the bow on my daughter’s “favorite” shoe is falling off)
e. Or, check on the inverter if it needs a fix (so that there are no dark nights at home)
The list is endless as he seems to have the talent to find more and more work.
But, because he does all this, my following week goes without any issues and I have everything in place to run the house. Not to mention, my daughter still flaunts her favorite shoe 🙂
After almost a decade of being close to each other, we have had our ups and downs and we have seen past through it – growing with every misunderstanding, ignoring things that don’t matter to our growth and accepting things that cannot be changed.
Have we found the magic recipe of a happy marriage? Nah! That’s a long bet. We had a bitter argument just now! Each day is a new day and only time will tell how far we walk together surviving each other’s irritating behavior 🙂
First published at: mycity4kids.com